Few heads of school have the regular opportunity to share what is on their mind with their community. I am grateful to have this privilege and consider it a meaningful way to foster connection with the school’s parents, faculty, and friends.
As Thanksgiving break and the winter holiday season approaches, I invite you to consider the power of connection. Increasingly, daily life has become transactional. Everything from Amazon ordering to TikTok scrolling to self-checkout has many operating from an ‘asked-for-and-answered’ posture that involves little to no interaction between us. The holiday season, and Thanksgiving in particular, offers us the chance to shift our focus away from what others might do for us to what we might do for others.
I’m inspired by the seventh grade teaching team’s ‘Seven Wonders,’ which updates parents about the goings-on in their children’s classes. Instead of sending home a summary of the work, the team offers a question for parents to ask their children: What type of solutions are acids? What types are bases? What differences or similarities are you finding between the Kingdom of Mali and another ancient African kingdom? How do socioeconomic and gender norms inform our assumptions about others? Conversation and questions about ideas and learning at the dinner table, or commuting to school or a game amplify connection.
Holiday celebrations are often multi-generational events. What questions would you ask at a family gathering to foster moments of intentional connection across generations? Perhaps your children will have questions, too. Why does our family hold onto its unique traditions? What made them special the first time they happened around the table? What is a favorite memory?
Priya Parker, the author of The Art of Gathering, suggests that moments of intentional connection, particularly when opinions at a gathering differ, are both relationally and neurologically beneficial. Connecting across differences–indeed, honoring differences–has never felt more critical, and the bonus neurological benefit is (pardon the pun) a bit of gravy.
As a school community that honors joy as one of its core values, take time to foster it around your table. Family members can engage children in conversations about highlights of the school year, a new friendship, or something exciting they’ve learned, allowing them to share their joyful moments. These conversations can also be an antidote to challenging conversations that may crop up.
Parker would likely celebrate the decision to remove cell phones from the school day and encourage them to stay put away for Thanksgiving dinner. Being fully present is hard to do these days. Devices at the dinner table interrupt connection. Engage your children in a conversation about the ‘why’ of a device-free meal. Can your children identify the benefits? Can they name why devices can be detrimental to them? No one wants to accept a “because I said so” decision, especially children. So, be transparent about why the absence of digital distraction is important for them, your family, and your holiday.
However you will be spending this Thanksgiving break, I hope it gives you a chance to give thanks, connect, and find joy. From all of us at Belmont Day, we wish you a very happy Thanksgiving, and we look forward to seeing you in December!
